Thank you God, for my life!

My life has been so busy and full lately, leaving my blog rather quiet and empty.  

It's funny, there are so many days when I get to the end, exhausted, worn out, and feeling like I've accomplished almost nothing.

I'm such a project oriented person, that sometimes it's difficult for me to see the value (long term and short term) in "just" being a mom.  In "just" being there for my babies.  In "just" making healthy meals for them and my husband each day.

Today was a little different.  I'm still tired at the end of the day.  I have a headache for some unknown reason, but I feel like I did a lot today. 

What changed?  Mostly my attitude.  I didn't cross off that many things from my "to-do" list, but there were so many moments today that I just took a second to let it sink it how incredibly blessed I am.

My husband goes to work every day, faithfully, even when he doesn't feel like it, to provide a good life for us.  And we have a good life!  I get to stay home with my precious children, be with them all day, watch their little smiles, feel their little hugs, watch them changing every day.  I get to teach them things, and hear them laugh.  Yes, I get frustrated, sometimes, really frustrated.  But at the end of the day, I wouldn't have it any other way!  

I admit, I struggle sometimes with feeling fulfilled.  I wonder what it's like "out there."  I wonder what it would be like to have a "real job" and feel like I'm contributing more financially to our home.  But then I think about our children, and almost keel over with gratefulness that I, not someone else gets to raise these children; that I get to spend time learning about the healthiest and most delicious and beautiful ways to feed my family; that I get to spend time creating beauty and organizing our home to make it a nicer place to be.  

I sometimes wish that I had hours to just think and study and figure life out.  But you know what, I'm figuring it out as I go!  I'm snatching time to read my Bible when I have a quiet moment, I'm praying as I work (although not nearly as often as I should!).  

I have it soooooooo good!  I have bad days, where I spend a lot of my time complaining, audibly or inwardly.  And yet, the truth is that God has given me so much more than I deserve!

Pretty in Purple!

Jasmine Siera Esther was born on Sunday, October 2, at 10:08 pm!!

What a thrill it is to have a darling little girl!  I thought I'd share with you a little bit of her "birth story", but if you'd rather not read it.....then don't. :P  I realize that not everybody is into this kind of thing, but since her birth has a bit more of a story to it, and some of you wanted to hear a few more details, I'm going to write it out. :)

We'd been planning a home birth for the past several months, and were really looking forward to it, not having to go anywhere, and being able to have more control over the environment, among other reasons.

Waiting was definitely one of the hardest parts for me, especially when I got to, and passed Jasmine's official due date.  But, exactly one week after that, on October 2, like several other days, I began having regular contractions, all through the church service, and into the afternoon.  We were just about to call our midwife, saying that I was in labor, when they stopped.  

Then, at 7:30, my water broke.  Almost immediately, we began a flurry of phone calls to family, a few friends, and our midwife.  Then, we set about getting the house as beautifully tidied and organized as possible - one of my absolute favorite ways of de-stressing, and a way to make me feel good in almost any situation. :)

Around 8, I began having real contractions, intense and very painful.  But I was just so excited to finally be in labor, that I didn't even mind!

Stephen's parents arrived shortly after to pick up Ian.  They stayed around for a bit, helping out in whatever ways they could.  

The midwife arrived shortly after they did, and by this time, I was in almost straight labor.  

I'll spare you all the details, but my labor this time was about 2 1/2 hours long, very intense, and very painful.  As a clarification to those of you who may think labor = very intense and very painful, let's just say that although I've had two babies, I actually feel like I've now been through "real" labor after this one. :P

As soon as Jasmine was born, Stephen told me we'd had a girl, (we'd found out, but were told it wasn't 100% for sure).  She was 9 lbs, 10 oz when she was born!  Much bigger than any of us were expecting!

It was after this that the complications started.  My placenta wasn't coming out like it should, and the midwife said if it didn't come out soon, we'd have to call 911.  I was also losing a lot of blood, which was also a reason for concern.  They had me kneel up on the bed to see if that would change things.  It didn't, and I fainted as I was lying back down.  I began shaking uncontrollably, and was so cold after that.  They started an IV, and called 911. 

Within minutes, an ambulance was there.  Stephen was holding Jasmine all this time, and he began to get my things ready for the hospital, while his mom dressed Jasmine.  

Soon, I was on a stretcher outside, being wheeled to the ambulance.  I remember thinking how beautiful of a night it was, so clear, and the stars were amazing!  I really didn't feel all that bad, considering the circumstances, and was therefore able to appreciate my ride in the ambulance, complete with sirens. (A very weird fulfillment of something I've always wanted. :P)

When we got to the emergency, there was a ton of people in the room, nurses, doctors, my midwife, and after a few minutes, Stephen and Jasmine.  

Thankfully they were able to get the placenta out, and stop the bleeding.  I lost about 3 1/2 litres at home, and more at the hospital, making a blood transfusion a necessity.  

I don't think I've ever been so cold in my whole life.  I am so grateful for heated sheets, and other warming devices the hospital has! :)

Stephen was such a rock during this whole time, he was so calm, and so in control, even though I could tell he was really worried.  

Finally, everything was stabilized, and I was doing better, so they wheeled me to a room, and Jasmine, Stephen and I were able to sleep for the rest of the night.

The next few days were spent in the hospital, recovering from the whole ordeal.  We had a few very welcome visitors, and enjoyed some much needed rest.

We're home now, and everything is gradually getting back to normal.   It's so amazing to cuddle my adorable little girl, feeling her soft skin against mine, and just being able to enjoy my time with her!   She's such a little darling!

Simple Joys

 

*Flowers and a meadow right outside our yard.....

*Beautiful tall trees in our backyard

*A baby that loves being outside

*Hanging out laundry on the clothesline.....I get such a kick out of seeing all the diapers hung up, don't ask me why! :)

*Cool summer evenings - a welcome relief after the hot days!

*Working out again

*Ian learning to read.....just kidding!  He likes looking at his books though! :)

*Nap times for little boys :)

*Good books to read myself

*Summer fruit
*Finally learning how to drive standard :P

*Homemade fresh cinnamon rolls

*Friends to enjoy them with us

*Reading about health

*Lime sherbet in the summer

*Playing volleyball again

It's the simple things in life.  We sometimes pass them by without even noticing they're there.  How much we miss when we do that!  It's always worth it to take just a second to enjoy the moment, to notice how good something tastes or smells or looks!  Life is so much fuller when you take a little more time! 

Our Little "English Cottage"

I wanted to share a few snapshots of the place we are now calling home.

We don't know how long we'll be here, but I intend to enjoy it as much as I possibly can while we are here!

 An old, mysterious looking barn-like structure.  I love the vines crawling up the side!

 As a little girl, I always thought weeping willows were some of the best trees, and I envied those who actually had such a tree in their yard.  Now I have joined the ranks of the envied. :)

 The most darling little garden ever!  It's mostly weeds right now, but as you can see, I've started pulling them out, going on a treasure hunt for what plants might still be growing there.  It's been fun...a word I never really thought I would use to describe gardening.  I'm actually quite excited about planting some herbs of my own there, it's not really big enough to do a whole lot else with, but having a few fresh things in my garden will be fun!

 Not much to look at on the outside, the inside is definitely much cuter!

 Our dining room.  I love how low the window is, it's the perfect height for looking outside while you're sitting at the table.

We were so blessed to have lots of friends help us unload the truck when we arrived, and two of my best friends, who had driven out to help us move, stayed around for a day or two to help us get things set up.  

Having books on the shelf, and pictures on the wall goes so far to make a house a home!  I love seeing the transformation from a plain-ish, empty house, to a cozy place to call our own!

Whistler Highlights

Recently, (four days after we moved, to be precise :P) Stephen and I got to go to Whistler BC, for a week alone together!  It was such a treat to get away, especially after all the craziness of late, and just have some time to relax, catch up on sleep, enjoy some amazing nature, and spend time together.  

There were so many delightful little things about our time, I wanted to share some of them with you, along with some snapshots I took along the way......

 * Getting time alone with this guy.... it was like a second honeymoon! :)
*Being flexible and having fun when plans changed, sometimes drastically!

 *Seeing amazing displays of nature, like the Brandywine Falls
*Driving through more of BC, being in awe of what a beautiful province we live in!
*Really good visits, with awesome relatives!

 *Water is one of my favorite things in nature to see, and there were an abundance of streams, big and little to feast my eyes on! :)
*Seeing the ocean again

 *The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company. Enough said.

*Wandering around Whistler Village

*Getting an "arm massage" in Lush, seriously, I felt so relaxed for the next hour at least! :)

 *Staying at The Aspens.  So beautiful!
*Coffee shops around Whistler

 *Taking three hours one day to go to the top of Blackcomb Mountain via chair lift.  The scenery was amazing! 

 *We saw four black bears, plus two cubs!  

 *Being surrounded by breathtaking mountains

*Journalling at Starbucks

*Walking and talking with Stephen, enjoying being together

 *This made me smile. :)

 *Riding the "Peak to Peak Gondola," the longest gondola in the world!  Oh, and we rode on the one with the glass bottom, so we got an amazing view down, not just out the windows!

 *Cozy, rainy days, spent walking around, and inside fun little shops.

*Eating breakfast at a funky little bakery: cinnamon rolls and coffee....one of my top favorite breakfasts!

*The view from our balcony....

*Swimming in the pool
*Visiting more awesome relatives in Victoria on the way home
*Seeing a lacrosse game for the first time
*Seeing Victoria for the first time
*Coming home to our baby - I have to admit, I've never been that excited to come home from a vacation! :) 

Significance

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
(Phil. 4:6-7)


I was thinking this morning about purpose and direction, and significance.  There's a craving inside me that longs to be significant in what I do.  And that craving is sometimes disappointed when I feel like all I've accomplished in a day is tidy the house and do laundry.  Not every day is like that, but there are plenty of them.  I desperately want to do something that matters with my life, to do something that other people can look at and think "wow, she's really gotten something accomplished."
I'm realizing more and more that what the world sees as significant and praiseworthy is definitely different than what God sees as praiseworthy.  My challenge is to differentiate between the two, and pour myself into what God wants.
The above verses came to my mind this morning as I sat on our front steps, contemplating these things.  We are told to be thankful a lot.  It's so easy for me to ignore a "simple" command like this, in my search for something "deep" and "important".  I think this is probably the best start I could have on my way to finding significance and purpose in what I do every day.
I don't think there's anything in Scripture that even resembles a "ten-step plan to happiness" but there are so many things we're told to do on a daily basis that are so easy to ignore (at least for me!) in our search for purpose.
I want to just go back to the "simple" commands I see in Scripture, and start with those in my everyday life.  I am convinced that when we get to Heaven, we will be come to a true realization of what God truly desires from us, and we will see how much of our life we wasted trying to accomplish things that meant nothing to Him.  I already have things I regret, ways I spent my time, things I did, or didn't do, and I do not want to live the second half of my life regretting the first.
I think the only way to avoid this is by seeking God every day through His word.  It's difficult to obey, but it's not a mystery, it's right there for us to read anytime!

a lovely monday....

taken by Stephen on our honeymoon on P.E.I.

Things I'm grateful for today

-candles burning * cozy feelings * pleasant smells

-beautiful music (Chopin, at the moment :)

-my baby boy sleeping so peacefully

-the beautiful snow outside

-projects to do

-the ability to learn new things

-God's continual grace and forgiveness to me every day

-good books that inspire me to be better

-good books that let me explore other places and meet other people (or Hobbits, and Dwarves, in this case :)

-my sweet mother in law taking me out for coffee this morning

-the amazing sewing machine my awesome husband just gave me

-being able to have Stephen here and not far away from me for months at a time

-Christmas decorations * gingerbread houses * glass balls* stockings * snowmen

-journalling

-homemade salad dressing :P

-being at home

Stephen is away for a few days now, with his work, so Ian and I are managing here alone. It's not so bad, yet. It's only been one day, and although I miss him, I'm so grateful for things like cell phones and video chat which make things so much nicer! I was just thinking last night how grateful I am that he's not a soldier, away from me for months at a time. I don't know how soldiers' wives do it. I'm just glad I don't have to.

Meanwhile, I have my many lists of things to do while he's gone. I love lists! They help me keep everything organized, give me a goal to work towards, provide that wonderful feeling of accomplishment when I check things off them, and are just plain fun to write out!

Stephen just got me this amazing sewing machine, which I'm so excited about! I've decided that my first project will be this baby quilt for Ian that I've been planning to make for months. I finally bought the fabric a few weeks ago, and last night finished cutting out all the squares. It's not a 'real' quilt. It's just a rag quilt. I'm not the most accomplished sewer (seamstress? :P) in the world, so I thought it wise to start with something on the more simple side. I can't wait to start working on it!

But before quilts, there are other things that need to be done. Like cleaning ovens. After all, one can't only put the fun things on lists. :)

Thankfulness

This morning I woke up before six. I do that quite often these days, with Ian, but today it was different because instead of going back to bed like I usually do, I decided to just stay up. Ian slept nearly the entire evening last night, so he was up quite a bit during the night, and this morning, I decided that instead of trying to sleep with a baby who simply was not tired, I might as well get up and take advantage of the situation.

Stephen got up early too. He's spending the day in Alberta on a shoot for work, and he'll be back tonight - thanks to a private jet owned by the client he's shooting for. :)

It's been so long since I've gotten up this early to stay, it's actually quite refreshing. There's nothing quite like an early morning. Everything is so fresh! I love looking out over the city and seeing the street lights still on, the pink glow of the sun beginning to rise, the light, misty fog that hovers over the ground, the gradual brightening of the sky as the sun comes up. Everything is so quiet and peaceful. It's so easy to think of all the things I'm grateful for when I have a morning like this.

Things I like about today.......

* Getting up early with Stephen

* Enjoying a hot cup of tea and toasted bagel outside

* Drinking in the fresh, early morning air

* The gift of baby "stations" that keep Ian happy and busy

* The anticipation of a whole day ahead of me, and the energy to get things done

* The gift of salvation from my Heavenly Father

* The absolute knowledge that I can't do anything good in my own strength, and the total confidence that I don't need to

* The fact that Stephen is only gone for the day, and will be back at night

* My sweet baby sleeping once again, not crying, not fussing, just sleeping, pure bliss. :)