Sunday, November 6, 2011

Life, as I Now Know It

I've been wanting to sit down and write here for ages now, but the timing has never quite been right.  Mostly because with two little munchkins in my life, I don't have as much time to sit down and thoughtfully write out a blog post. :)   
It's been a crazy whirlwind of ups and downs adjusting to life with two little ones.  Mostly good, but there have definitely been a few, okay, a lot of times when I've felt like a complete failure as a mom, as I lose my patience yet again with my little one year old, and collapse gratefully on the couch when they're both napping.  I can see a lot of personal growth happening as my children grow up. :P  
It's amazing how things change when you have children.  I say children, plural, because when you have just one, it really doesn't slow you down all that much.  There are slight adjustments to be made, of course, but nothing too huge.  At least, I didn't find it that way.  However, two children, when one is a little baby, and the other is just gaining confidence to walk, is another story.  
For instance, a few days ago, I decided to go grocery shopping (first time with two babies!).  I made my decision to go in the morning, thinking that would work better for my day....two and a half hours later, we were all walking/being carried out the door!  There are so many little things, extra laundry, nursing, snacks, diapers to change, floors to wash and sweep repeatedly, dishes to wash....all things that are involved in being a mom.  And honestly, I really love it!  Not all the time, but there are so many times that I take a step back, look at my two darlings, and am just so grateful that I can be at home with them, instead of being compelled by circumstances to work away from home, and spend significantly less time with them!  
I also have a lot of times of wondering, "Does my life count?  Am I really doing something that is good, and useful?  Should I be doing more?"  Self doubting seems to come so naturally, especially as I begin to think deeper about things, and question why I do what I do, and why I think what I think.  Part of me wants to just turn off the questions, and relax back into comfortable, blissful ignorance.  But another part of me cannot let that happen.  I'm so desperate to really live life!  I want to fill my life up with things that matter, things that will last, that will count for something!  Not everything feels significant in and of itself, but I feel like I'm very gradually grasping an idea of what counts, and what doesn't.  
I don't always have the time to sit and just really deeply think about issues.  There are so many "practical, every day" things that need to be done on a consistent basis.  I have a really bad habit of separating my spiritual life from my physical life, and then getting discouraged when I have an extremely busy day, just looking after my family and my home, and don't have the time, energy or brain space to sit down and study my Bible.  Not that that is an excuse to not read and study, but I'm learning that this is a season in my life where I'm busier with babies than I will be later on, and sometimes you just have to snatch moments as they become available, rather than having a set time for "quiet time" and then never actually doing it, because you were too busy changing diapers or doing laundry.  
I'm trying to think of a cohesive way to finish this off, but it would seem that my brain has moved on to other things, so I will just say....until next time!  Thanks for reading! :)


  1. Be encouraged! As your life changes pace from season to season, (day to day, hah!) each brings it's own set of challenges and exhilaration's! You're learning how to make those every day chores work for you and your growing family, and all those steps you take in streamlining your days will pay off :) Not every day is the same as the next, thankfully:) From where you're at right now, everything matters, and I am sure you'll find the best ways to prioritize things in a way that truly blesses your family, as there really is no way to fit it all in. There comes a settling, and shifting,in motherhood, and a peace as well:) You'll learn how to see yourself in a way that is not doubting your value or abilities in others eyes, (or even your own!) so that you can go boldly forwards , capturing excitement and liveliness in all things:) Quite often it's the attitude that we as mothers grow and make our own that warms the house and lights it from within for all to see! God is so good to let us know His hearts desires fro us when we ask:)

  2. haha As I read your post I was wow that sounds just the same as myself, I was a new Christain and had five kids and was on fire! I wasn't saved 'till thirty! So even though your young and a mother of two and being a Christian for a good part of your life, when we have kids and are with our Lord we just want to do so much. You sound like your going through the process just fine, your figuring it out God is awesome at directing our path as we follow. The one thing my husband would remind me when I wanted to get but out to street ministry when I wasn't as my greatest ministry was my children, our home. Thanks for sharing your story we women are more alike in these areas then we know. Your doing a fine job! Blessings you the Casson's family :) <3

  3. Oh, sweet post! I know what you mean about separating the spiritual from the physical. I often think, "It takes me THREE hours to make dinner... what a waste of good time! I should be doing something more profitable!" but then realizing that this IS what I am supposed to be doing!! And to delight in it, rather than try to skimp on it, or brush it aside. Thank you for taking the time to write an encouraging post!
    <3 you, Callie! ;-D
    P.S. Your little guy sure looks like Stephen, and your little lady like you!! :-)

  4. Oh Caleigh, what a precious but busy stage of life you're in! I too very soon with have two little ones (only about a year a part!) I am right there with you though I know life will get even more challenging and fun with two babies! I too have struggled with the thoughts of "is what I am doing significant?" of course the answer is yes it's the best calling for a woman who is married if the Lord blesses her and her husband with children to stay at home and raise them and keep her man's home! Life seems to fly and I too want so very much to live life to its fullest and enjoy it right where I am! I wish we were closer and could get together and encourage each over over tea! God bless you sweet friend! :-)