Still Waiting....

I know I may be a bit biased, but isn't he the cutest thing!?  Crawling through the grass, with that look of intense concentration on his little face!  

Lately, with the weather being so amazing, and yet not really feeling like driving anywhere, I've been taking a blanket out, spreading it on the lawn and just sitting out there with Ian.  Me crocheting or reading, and him exploring the world!  I love watching him develop every day, and explore new territory.  I think it's so important for children to have that freedom, and I'm so grateful we live in a place where he can crawl all around the grass and look at leaves and trees, and not be in any danger!

Several weeks ago, I had a few things I wanted to have done before this next baby came.  One of them was this afghan that I'm crocheting.  I wonder how much power our words have.....it's the day before the  official due date, and I'm still not finished the blanket, and guess what? Baby # 2 has yet to make an appearance! :P  I was finished it, once.  But I was not at all happy with how it looked, and couldn't just let it rest, so I'm in the process of tearing it out, and making it again fresh....this is about the fourth time I've torn it out, or at least a part of it, although this time is different, I'm actually using a pattern this time. :P  I have this perfectionist complex which sometimes makes it difficult to learn new things.  I don't always like how my first attempt at something turns out, I want it to look like I've been doing it for years, without putting in the years first!  I'm getting better though, and I really do love learning new things, it's so empowering, even if it is only a simple crocheted blanket!

 (The re-do is on the left, on the right is the one I'm tearing out) 

For a while now, I've wanted to find the best way of preserving fall leaves in all their glory.  I love them so much, I think I'd decorate my whole home with them if I could!  I've looked up different methods, and I'm currently trying the "glycerin method."  In a few days I should know how they turn out.  

I've been looking for the perfect "slouchy hat" pattern for a long time, I don't think I've quite found it, but this one comes pretty close.  I was pretty happy that I actually finished it, it only took two days, and it was really easy!  

It's been such a good few days lately.  Stephen really encouraged me not to try to do everything every day, just to take it slow, rest lots, and not put oodles of pressure on myself.  It's amazing how freeing it was to hear him say that.  The pressure I feel is always self-inflicted, but to have him verbalize that was so good!  

I've been taking him very literally, sleeping when Ian sleeps, not trying to do too much in a day, and I've been so much more relaxed, less stressed, and even less bothered that the baby isn't here yet.  Obviously, I have moments of being very, very tired of being pregnant, but overall, I've decided that the baby will come when it's ready, and worrying about it won't make it come any faster.  

Well, until next time....

Contentment

I have to admit, I've had this mental block when it comes to the word contentment.  I know it's a good thing.  Something we should all be working towards.  And yet something inside me rebels at the thought.
For a long time, when people talked about contentment, I got this mental picture of someone who wasn't going anywhere.  Someone with no ambition, with no drive, no real purpose in life.  Someone who wasn't interested in learning or growing or improving, someone who was content - and in my mind, stagnant.
The concept terrified me.  I heard that unless you were content and satisfied where you were, you would be unhappy everywhere else.  I didn't want that.  But neither did I want to be stagnant, going nowhere.
Finally, a different picture is beginning to be revealed to me.  What true contentment really is.  It's about gratefulness.  And patience.  Being satisfied where you are, while looking ahead to the future, constantly seeking what God has for you.
There are times and seasons for everything, and if one is constantly yearning for the next season, it's a sure way to miss the beauty and potential growth that are in this one.
I've struggled with this for years, and I feel like I'm finally getting it.  In many ways, I feel like I've wasted so many years already, wishing I was in another  season, wanting my circumstances to be different, instead of making the most of my time where I was.  But now that the truth is beginning to be clear to me, I don't want to waste the next several years with regret.
God has given each of us so much!  There is so much potential packed into every person, and yet how much of it is wasted because we're wishing we were somewhere else?